Exclusive Interview with Comedian Matt Forde on life after stoma surgery

15 August, 2024

TV host, radio presenter, writer, podcaster, footballpundit, impersonator…
the multi-talented Matt Forde is, above all else, acomedian. Which is why
it’s no surprise that he has often used humour as away of coming to terms
with life with a stoma, following surgery for spinal cancer.

You have mentioned that you were repulsed by the thought of having a colostomy bag, why was this?

Oh you know, for the reasons we’re made with our bumholes round the back. We’re not meant to see it as it comes out, let alone sit there powerless as it bursts out of our belly like some sort of shitty alien. So that scared me. The change to my body. The squeamishness about poo coming out of there. The faff of having a bag I had to change every day.

Now I can’t believe what a small change it’s been. It doesn’t dominate my mind in the way I thought it would.

Was there any content you saw or conversations you had that helped the transition from repulsed to accepting? If there was, then what?

The crucial conversations I had were with my excellent stoma nurse, Breege O’Neill. She’s so cheery, she totally demystified it for me. Breege is fascinated by stomas so that helped me find the novelty in the experience.

For a while in hospital, I couldn’t help myself with the stoma at all. That didn’t help. It meant I was reliant on others, rather than being able to take charge of it for myself.

Once my mobility improved and I could maintain the stoma independently, it was much easier.

You’ve got a great sense of humour about stomas which you bring to your radio show. How does humour help to break the stigma which still exists in some quarters?

You have to laugh about these things. My stoma has audibly farted on air a couple of times now and I love it. It helps me joke about it. Listeners texted in to name the stoma, something I’ve not done yet. The best suggestion was Sir Keir Stoma.

Laughing about it helps those people who have stomas, because they can relate to it and find relief in something difficult. But it also lets people without stomas know that they’re not something to be horrified by, farts and poos come out of them just like they do people who still use their bumholes.

How has having a stoma and experiencing cancer inspired your projects and/or comedic material?

It’s definitely animated me, I’ve found it a really positive experience. It’s given me a whole new world to joke about and talk about. It’s given me purpose. Poopurse? Sorry.

What, if any, changes have you had to make to your diet or your routine since having a stoma? How have these impacted daily life?

If I go for a walk I make sure I’ve got bags in one pocket and wipes in another. I learnt that getting caught short on a walk not long after being discharged.

Whenever I leave the house I’ve got a backpack of goodies: bags, wipes, catheters and my top tip… VIPoo. I’d used it before having a stoma and now use it as a spray for neutralizing the smell of poo.

What have you found helpful for regaining your strength (physical and mental)? For example, any fitness classes, meditation, reading etc.

Physio has been crucial for me. Like everyone with a stoma, my core strength has been destroyed. The operation I had rearranged the muscles in my legs so I’m having to learn to walk again.

I think my mental health is pretty robust, but I do periodically get upset about the changes to my body. I know that it was a price worth paying to be cancer free and that helps brighten me up.

I’m lucky that I get to talk about all this on my radio show and on my podcast, Down the Dog, that I do with my good friend Jon Richardson. Having an outlet for the ups and downs helps me feel better.

My mental health wouldn’t be as strong without my wife. She has supported me in every way since I was diagnosed with cancer. In hospital she learned to change the colostomy bag while I was unable. Her emotional support is the single biggest reason I feel so positive.

How has public ignorance about stomas and the needs of people with stomas impacted on your life?

My main problem so far is the appalling provision and state of accessible toilets. The standard varies wildly. I always thought a men’s toilet was the worst place on earth, but some accessible toilets are even worse. Not because of the way we use them, because of the venues don’t maintain them in the same way they do other toilets. Some are used as storerooms, others just left to rot. Bins not emptied, sinks full of dirt.

I’m embarrassed that it’s taken all this for me to notice. It must’ve been driving people mad for years.

What do you think should be done to change perceptions of stomas?

The main thing is to reassure people about to have them how little bother it all is.

It’s nothing to worry about.

Also, I’m surprised by how little I care what anyone else thinks. I don’t have any sense of shame or embarrassment about it at all.

All I care about is my ability to be able to deal with any emergency. Hence the bulging backpack full of wipes etc. It’s so bulky, I look like a Ghostbuster with that thing on my back.

What advice would you give someone about to have stoma surgery?

Don’t worry. It’s a relatively small change and it will not define you.

And lastly, how are you doing now?

I’m still adapting to it all, so it feels like early days for me. But I feel good. I’m already more used to it than I was.

Read more from Matt in the latest edition of our Tidings Magazine out on August 21st. Sign up for your regular copy here 

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